slightly mediocre

My family isn't particularly religious, so we don't throw a huge hurrah when Christmas rolls around. Today has been largely disappointing. Most of the week I worked myself up to be excited because it's Christmas and tis the season, etc. Working every second day and spending the days in between with people turned out to be just the right balance, and even if I could've done with a bit more time to do my own thing it was going so well. Today though, my mood peaked about 2 hrs after waking up and has been noticeably declining since. 

The past 8 hours has been mostly me overeating alone (re-enter: ice cream phase) and trying to paint Wendy's Christmas peacock. I don't feel the energy to draw though and I've noticed the declining quality of my animals since the squirrel, which is somewhat upsetting and demotivating. Photos of friends/families are flooding FB and I am definitely feeling a pang of jealousy; my family is probably incapable of ever having something like that. This unit has been rapidly disintegrating and is now beyond redemption.

There are 3 hours left of today and I will do something

\(^__^)/ honi soit

2013 playlist

shits n gigs. soundtrack of the year by month, fddf ed.

not having work is not the same as not having worth. There is a person underneath all the things we find to kill time, and is measured by what we can do in our own eyes. personal achievements vs. achievement in the public eye. someone that is entirely potential; tapped and untapped. a shift in focus. what we can do vs. what we do for a living vs. what we do to help others live vs. what we do to feel alive. this self does not include the people around us. minds are islands and there are no bridges. we  are influenced by people but we are limited by our own empathy and experiences. each person is their own self.

Doing something for a living takes such precedence. I'm stuck in a rut where it feels like there isn't enough time for everything, except now there isn't much time at work and it's making me feel as though I've got nothing to fall back on. Right now though I've just got to remember that my work isn't me anyway and that there are the other aspects that I can work on with the extra time. I've tied too much of myself to what I am able to do in financial comfort, and losing a few shifts isn't going to throw me to the sharks.

Reassurance.

It has spurred me to find work that I am happy doing. What we do for a living doesn't have to be separate from what we do to feel alive. There are people fortunate enough to have found a middle ground - though no doubt it would've been a combination of fortune and ridiculous hard work. Something for me to work towards.

This post is not guaranteed to make sense.

aimy has a productive day

bastard child of jules de balincourt and andrew hem

Today has been remarkably productive and I am proud of myself. Though it's late and work is early tomorrow, I feel it necessary to record this elation before it gets lost in the momentum of every day hum drum. What I did today:

- finished Zen + Art. I'm unsure of what to make of the ending, I definitely have to read over it again. Sometimes I felt like it was hitting the nail on the head with certain topics but other times RP drew such strange conclusions out of what felt like abstraction. It definitely left me in a contemplative state though. Good read. 

- applied for a job. 

- finally dropped by TC to help out. I got to meet some lovely ladies who ran the shop, and they taught me a few things before we ended up just chatting and getting to know each other. So charming. K is adorable and N is a cool mum. I went to the toy shop and then the bakery (I bought a cinnamon scroll) and then rode my bike home. 

- started a painting. I liked how it looked but it wasn't how it looked in my dream. Still going. 

- joined le gym! went rowing! cross trainer! machines! lifting things! 

oh today was good. 

if only i could drop the unrelenting burden of doubt, which has been robbing me of sleep and stealing enjoyment from my day. It's a constant, undulating sadness. I've almost completely accepted my fate re: 2821 but I'm still deciding what my plan of action will be for that as well as other things. I'll find the courage to check soon. 

hobutt, tas

mt wellington

What a reprieve. I arrived with minimal expectations and hoped just to enjoy a few days away and Hobart was the perfectly slow-paced, small-big town that insisted on kicking back and taking it easy. 

The airport looked like a farm, the city sat between mountains and a river, and even the sea gulls outside the fish and chip joints were mostly chill. We took the ferry to MONA and a bus up Mt Wellington. Both were so fantastic. MONA was confronting and even frightening sometimes. There was an installation where you entered a series of chambers set inside each other, getting smaller and smaller. The walls were low lit from the ground and binary code spelt some ancient text + ominous English words. In the smallest chamber on the ceiling there was a mirror, and that was when I screamed like a little bitch. Regardless, I thoroughly enjoyed that one. And most of them. The ride up to the pinnacle of Mt. Wellington was quite pleasant. The bus driver was so amicable and though there was a lot of cloud cover at first, it did clear up a little. You could only just see the city peeking through the thick cloud, but I think I'd have preferred it that way anyway. Against the strange plants of the mountainside, the clouds made Mt Wellington look even more alien. Shrubbery was dense with thick, heavy leaves all clustered together to withstand the wind. Rocks were spotted with lichen and in some areas, smoothly cut as if a side of the mountain had just risen and left the rest behind. It was breathtaking. Painfully cold, because we were dumb enough to forget our jackets, but we got used to the wind after a while. It was so amazing. 

The rest of our time was divided between sleeping (I hadn't slept so much in so long), eating fish and chips and pie, and walking through the grid map streets of the city. We made our way through Salamanca Place, Battery point and found old Georgian buildings and newish weatherboard houses. It was a beautiful manifestation of the changing culture throughout the history of the town. Old buildings were repurposed into new spaces for offices and restaurants without losing the old charm. Everything was so peaceful and so were the people. Everyone also owns vintage cars and motorbikes apparently.

I was definitely sad to leave. I guess I'm glad that I'm now much more calm and relaxed compared to before, but returning from the peacefulness of Hobart feels like being forced out of the comfort and security of my warm bed, into an unwelcoming morning. Knowing that I have to inevitably deal with things once we got back put a damper on my spirit, but I feel a bit more ready to face whatever may happen.

break

words later sleep now

:(

:c

Iceland

Olivia Rae James - Iceland

Another (virtual) neuron for later. project for the holidays. I need to reckon with how/why this has been sitting on my mind for so long. 

Good night and good luck to everyone. Exam period is always brief.

bless 

Move

Sticking this in a (virtual) neuron for later, as Peter Carroll would say. In my dream, we moved to an apartment in Singapore that felt very, well, un-Singaporean. Flat roofs, reasonably tall apartments with courtyards, fading chalky paint and ornamentation. It seemed more like India, or somewhere further into the continent. I had no idea what we were doing there and Lily was still supposed to be going to school in AU. She had a cheap weekly plane ticket. I want this to be the travel bug in my subconscious  telling me to get moving; home is always close by when flying is a cheap ticket. Hopefully I'll draw this later, I don't think it actually looks anything like what I have. This was about the same time last year that I started having the strange dreams and it would be pretty damn cool if they start happening again.

In nothing new, I'm trying to be more involved in the community (pharmacy + arts). Things that I've applied for recently:

- so many pharmacy jobs. soo many. I've put off following up applications because... I don't know, I didn't want to seem overzealous. Obviously I was an idiot before but now that I'm desperate to get my foot in the door, I have very few fucks to give about what they'll think of me anymore. I have a few to chase up after next Fri. 

- theatre front of house. still on my to-do list c.2011! can't stop me

- volunteer work. it'd be nice to be on the local scene. 

- extra pt load. this might be the last thing I need on top of a ft load but I think I really want to try this. 

Olivia said I might be one of those people who can't decide on doing one thing, and she probably didn't mean it as an endearment. Lots of love to her though, she taught me much. This is probably when I'll have the most time on my hands so I may as well give it all a go. Shoot for the stars and land on the moon, right?

Pause

most popular girl in town. mona lisa 2012

Right yeah deep title. More like I've pretty much paused work for way too long now, but wow that photo was from over a year ago. Sometimes I retain vivid mental images and that must've been one of those moments (aside from it obviously being archived forever as a photo, duh) because it still feels so damn recent. Time is moving so quickly. This is the worst time to reminisce but it's too late and I did it and it's made me realise that so much has happened and changed since. If ideas and surroundings change, can people still stay the same? 

I'll come back to this later before I spend too long on here. Tonight's been a dramatic one but tomorrow seems more promising. I'll have fresh optimism to carry me through, endless hope for the people I care about, and energy for the shit I have to take care of. Good night. 

+

It didn't feel right to end on such a negative post and I still feel like procrastinating (I'll regret this in about half an hour) so I'm going to make this post a positive one. I've been consciously mentally conditioning myself to deal with things lately and this is the strangest way of coping I've tried, but whatever works, works. It could be worse. Just gotta get through these next 2 weeks and then holidays! h o l i d a y s

Things I plan to do these holidays

• work, get money $$$$$$
• dear any pharmacy in Sydney, pls hire me 
• spend time with family. I'm going to have to work hard on this one..
• spend time with friends 
• spend time well
• draw everything. get better and then get somewhere. 
• Iceland
• master studies 
• garden. I might be too ambitious with this one but I want to get some kind of plant nursery going.
• read
• develop my film. develop that roll from the holga..! 
• document my time better.
• travel
• TAS
• Blue Mts 4ever
• ride my bike! 

Queen B

So I never properly listened to Beyonce until last week when I fell into an awful slump and holy jesus did she turn my week around. It must've been a combination of her tunes + me reaching the end of my tether, but I am absolutely certain that her voice is magical. No doubt about it. I would've lingered on the problem for even longer otherwise. 2821 got me so bogged down in confusion it felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel and just no place for it in the bigger picture. Thankfully it makes a bit more sense now but I've still miles to go.

Sistahs gotta stick 2gether. Girl power woohoo.

Also, a new header! The previous one was kinda ugly and I didn't like it anyway. This one's a bit of a return to the first one and I'm enjoying it a muuch more. Simple, but not static. I might have just realised that that's the kind of life I hope for, which gives me the perfect segue into what I wanted to talk about: life right now.

There's been an atmosphere slowly growing around certain people and lately it's starting to become toxic. What's worse is having to share the breathing space with them. The generational and cultural gap is widening and becoming more apparent in my family.

Sometimes I feel like I can't stand my sister but at times like these I (hopefully she does too) realise we're in the same boat. Things that my mum/grandma say are just so fucking shocking yet their attitudes are incorrigible and Lily and I end up on the receiving end of a narrow-minded reeducation. I guess the proper thing to do would be to just keep my head down until I can move out but I'm going to note this as a very distinct change in my own attitudes. I'm fairly sure that this time last year the plan was to just stick around home and take my time saving up until I could be financially comfortable on my own. Maybe I've matured, maybe it's just become more obvious or intolerable now that we're all in closer proximity, but I want out. I'm sure Lily wants out too and if money were no object we would be so out.

I understand that it's a cultural thing for the hierarchy to be the way it is but given that we are getting older and they brought us up to think, they were way too optimistic to expect us not to question authority. We do have valid ideas, but if they're unwilling to consider change or /empathise/ then whatever that's how they are, old people, middle aged people. I'll just stay under the radar. Hopefully the narrow mindedness isn't genetic. Considering that it's infected 2 generations though.. hah.

In other news, I feel like I'm directing way too much effort in being grumps towards other people. Maybe to much effort to begin with. I just imagine everyone's busy concentrating on their own stuff and I'm bugging people left/right/centre because I can't deal with being by myself for a few weeks. Right about now the doubts start rising and they tell me to depend on no one, abandon attachment, expect little, and find a cat who will love me forever. Joy. I miss my people.

Holidays come at meeeeee plsletmepassthough.

Also fuck CD.

HNMR of caffeine. Drug of choice for the next week. 

Sam. Street prowler, do not feed.

Chain whip, engage!

Free cassette

The new spoke

ew

Unicycle

Lily and I got to chill with Sam on our way home from the shops. I think s/he might've been the same cat I saw that night. Sam will lie in front of you until you move too close, and then will roll over for a tummy rub and then follow you for a bit before breaking your heart and leaving you. 

I got around to fixing that (2nd!!!) broken spoke today after picking up the tool kit from Minh. Removing the cassette and re-assembling the QR would probably have been the hardest but if I had to do that again it'd probably be much easier. 

The locking on the cassette has a little triangle printed on it, pointing in a direction to "lock". All I had to do to unlock it was twist it in the opposite direction while engaging the cassette with the chainwhip. Feeling ready and equipped with my plan, I quickly hit a stumbling block because I was too weaksauce. I ended up having the recruit Lily to help pull on the tool in the other direction and after she gave up, I did it a little longer before it finally loosened. From then on it was okay but that took way too long. 

Reassembling the QR was also a hassle because I didn't note the order of the little eyelet bits so when I put it on, it didn't screw on properly/tight enough, meaning the wheel was all kinds of wobbly and unroadworthy. After lots of trial and error (mostly error), i noticed a spare piece that I forgot to put onto the nut end(??? terminology?), and then did more noticing when I saw that both sides had the same part. Mirroring the other side, which remained in the right order, proved successful and I landed myself a functioning wheel. 

I'm not entirely sure if the wheel is true though - it probably isn't; the spokes got a couple of flicks and I just listened to them singing the song of their people. The verdict was that it sounded close enough - I have all my spokes and they have similar enough tensions so it's good enough for me. I'll figure it out some day but for now I'll take it. 

Today's been a good day.

Fuck 2821 though. Our report's taking shape and I've done my writing parts so I'm pretty pleased with how we're going so far. We've still got a few days left to finish it and prepare for our presentation, which I am slightly more worried about. Its significance was completely diminished though when I found out it was only worth 10%. I say that, but for this subject I'm probably going to need every percentage I need. The small incremental assessments have lulled me into a sense of complacency but now that the semester's ending they're going to start adding up. Hopefully all goes well. 

I'm not too worried about the oral assessment, though I'm not sure if i should be? Some part of me is kind of excited to do this but that's probably too optimistic, from what I've been hearing about it. Then again, stressing out won't do much good either. Preparation is going well for that. 

And once my time frees up, maybe I'll be able to get my drawing back on.

Aaaand that's all for this news update.  

Queen B

A work mate just shared her new song and it was pretty exciting to see her still out and about and making music, but it left me missing some of her older stuff. After listening to a couple of tracks, it made me even sadder to think about the direction her life took a couple of years back. Sure she's making a come back now but it's almost unimaginable how much grief her fame and publicity must have caused her.

I'll never forget the primary school summers with Britney loud on the car radio while my family road tripped all over, me and Lily singing shamelessly in the back seats. Hours were spent watching and rewatching her SNL skits and at that age it was the funniest shit on the planet. If I could find it right now, it'd probably still be hilarious as hell. She was a total babe and even my parents loved her. This one's for my childhood queen. Love forever.

Aimy has a sad

It's no mystery that my activity here spikes during assessment period, as does anxiety/irritability, etc.

Often I find myself at the initiating end of an offer, and occasionally I overestimate myself. One thing that motivates me is other people. That's why I tend to be more productive in group work situations, even more so when I'm working with people that I am close with. It's like setting a deadline and a sense of accountability. If I was just doing something for myself, I'd just hate myself for messing up, but I'm going to work my butt off before I let someone else down. So when I make an offer and then put effort into something, it ruins me when the other party doesn't reciprocate that.

I wrote this with one thing in mind today but now I can see how this could easily apply to so many things as of late. The unreciprocated effort leaves me with such a sense of disappointment and it just accumulates until I have no idea what I am doing with people anymore. So far I've just had to knuckle down out of obligation - I'm not copping out of 10% final mark because some people are lazy butts - but some things I care about should also be cared about by other people and when they don't, there's no other way to describe it but disheartening. Maybe a bit disappointing, but not infuriating.

Anger can be so damaging. In pictures and poetry it is fire; annihilating, destructive. I am not immune to those feelings but I know they pass and I try to spare the people I care about from it. I am angry about situations, about a shitty day at work, not about my friends and family (though I have to try so hard sometimes). When I am slighted, I am disheartened; disappointed. When it's people I care about, I try not to be angry because we don't need two angry people hurting even more than necessary. I am forgiving; I always am, but sometimes it's heart wrenching,  and eventually even stone can be worn down.

I might be in a bit of a rut at the moment but I'm hoping it picks up once this terribly long week is over.

I had more to add, but the thoughts escaped before my fingers could reach the keys.

On a slightly more positive note, I have an interview tomorrow! Some points that I will have to consider between now and then:

• Why do I want to do Pharmacy?
• What's ma fav thing about it?
•  Why should they even give me a job 

fuck these quizzes and good night all 

No. 1 Party Anthem

This makes me want to drop everything and slow dance immediately.

Meet: my vehicle

It's been a good week for me and my bike. Before I got it, I decided that I'd be prepared to learn bicycle repair/maintenance; I wanted to get hands on and know my vehicle. Consider the bigger picture: bicycles are almost ubiquitous throughout suburban towns and cities. We grow up learning to ride one as a rite of passage. It's one of the simplest modes of transports, yet at the same time still so complicated. I feel that it'd be a good way to fully immerse myself in bicycle ownership by understanding how it works. It'd probably help if I needed to do some simple repair too; servicing doesn't come cheap. Anyway, as a part of my ambitious journey to reconcile myself bicycle things, this week I've had the chance to do some pulling apart and putting together of the bike.

1. Snapped spoke on the rear tyre. The breakage happened in the middle of the spoke and on the cassette side, and after doing some frantic googling, I figured out what needed to be done.

Before beginning, the bicycle is put onto the lowest gear, and the rear wheel removed. The low gear makes it easy to reattach the chain once you finish. To replace a spoke, you have to have access to both ends of it. A spoke snapped through the middle means pulling half the thread out through the rim of the wheel, and unhooking the other half from the hub. The rim side is easy enough. You have to remove the tyre, tube, and lastly the tape, to expose the back of the nipple holding the spoke in place. Make sure to not lose the nut off the tyre valve. The hub, on the other end... Depending on which side of the hub the spoke is attached to, you may have to remove the cassette. Mine broke on the cassette side.

The lug ring tool was needed for this one. With the QR taken off, the lug ring was exposed and the tool basically slipped over the cog. Loosen. Simple enough. There were 1 or 2 smaller cogs on top of the cassette (I can't recall exactly) that were also removed. Basically, markings indicated how to align them and you just have to remember the order that they stack in. Also take care to not lose them. Every now and then I'd worry that one of the parts would be misplaced, and then it'd follow with a frantic patting down of the ground around me to make sure everything was still there. The cassette should just slide off and that'll let you access the hub. Pull out the other half of broken spoke. Or in my case, unwind it from the hub because the spoke got completely destroyed.

The nipple connecting the rim half of the spoke was in tact. Usually, that's the part that breaks due to the tension of the spoke being screwed in, but my bike managed to outdo itself and wreck some other part. The nipple and spoke need to be separated, and because it was still in tact at the nipple, my spoke was easily unscrewed after a spray of lubricating oil.

Thread the new one through the hub, place the nipple back into the hole from the rim, and then connect the other end of the spoke to the nipple. Screw the two together. It should now be held in place, although not fully tightened. Replace everything. Cassette, lug ring, tape, tube, tyre, valve. Pull the derailleur back; wheel, QR, chain, gears. Now would be a good idea to mark the new spoke. Colourful tape, sharpie, anything. Give the wheel a spin. Since the tension of the wheel isn't quite right (with the spoke still relatively loose), it shouldn't spin absolutely straight. At this point, you need to grab the spoke wrench and give the new spoke a tighten. Flick it with your finger, and then flick one of the other spokes. It was a bit like tuning the guitar. Evening out the tension in the spokes (trueing) will mean that the spokes will sound at the same frequency, so flicking them should give the same pitch. I find that so enchanting. Seemingly simple machines turn out to be a world of complexity and design. That shit so cray. That was my Tuesday afternoon.

2. Brake cables
Just about an hour ago I attempted to tighten the cables on the rear brakes, since I found myself clasping at the handles way too tight before the pads would touch the rim. At the moment it's still a bit loose but at least I know how to fix them up. I think the problem remains because of my/Lily's lack of guns. We couldn't tug on the cables hard enough to get them as tight as I wanted, but for now they still work.

To tighten brake cables, unscrew the nut up on the front handles, just at the base. Terminology becomes a bit obscure here I have no idea what anything is called. Ok I just did a quick google and will be using a guide to help me type out this next part. The problem was that the yoke was too low. This meant that there was some slack in the cable, and that the handles had to be pressed even harder to make up for the slack and then begin to pull the brakes together. What I was trying to do was to reduce the slack by pulling the yoke up higher against the cable so that I'd need less power for a pull.

We just needed to loosen the bolt holding the cable and then pull it through so that the traverse cable would be taught. Unfortunately, neither Lily nor I had the guns for a task of this magnitude, so our flimsy pulling only meant that it was slightly tighter than before, if any. More work still needed in the future. On the brighter side, we both know what we need to do, and I gave the brake pads a tighten so everything is aligned and working fine-ish.

The more I understand it, the more I can appreciate my bike. This can apply to any kind of technology, and at this point my life is constantly surrounded by different kinds of technology yet I barely know how anything works. And I suppose that's the point I'm trying to drive home (not to mention that my current book is helping me realise it): being engaged and in control of my life, to me, means being able to understand the tools that you have around you. Ownership of material possessions is not a defeat or victory for the system or the individual, depending on where the power lies. Total understanding and knowledge of your things puts the power with you, rather than in the object. These thoughts are ready to run for miles, but I've got mountains of work to climb and I should tend to that for now.

Baby steps, I suppose.

Other bike shenanigans:
I pulled out the T key thing that came with my skate board and found out that the nut wrenches fit a couple of the ones on my bike, so that was pretty exciting. I lowered the saddle and now it's about 1000% more comfortable and my butt isn't too sore after a ride. The brake pads were tightened with the T thing as well. Oh, multipurpose tools, a newfound joy.

Also: Dom was too swole and somehow managed to kick the rear wheel completely off the frame when he had a go on the bike yesterday. Oh my goodness it was hilarious and I hope he wasn't embarrassed, I wasn't even mad.  We managed to reattach it, though trying to pull apart the seat posts was the biggest pain and I also had a bit of a worry because we had to slide the chain back onto the cassette, and well, I'm not too confident doing that yet. Persistence prevailed, and at the end our hands were tired and gross.  And then he turned down my offer to go get kebab.

For future ref:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg6s596PPRY
http://sheldonbrown.com/canti-trad.html

This week

10 minute skate from home

new old vehicle.

the park on the way to uni 

one of the nicer routes through campus

my first bicycle repair, aka contemporary art by aimy. the damaged spoke.

Meow. 

After a tumultuous night, I went out for a skate once the streets emptied. It was only in my immediate block, but I still hadn't gotten around to proper exploring and it was a good time as ever. 

Oh, how do I justly describe the thrill of riding through an empty street? The adrenaline from the constant worrying that you'll hit a crack in the pavement, from the fear of losing balance and then blood; the exhilaration of racing down the street at superhuman speed; the relief when you stop at the bottom of a hill without lurching and losing the board (clearly I'm still learning). 

More tomorrow. For now, I sleep. Good night.  

I'm still trying to figure out how to organise my online space. Tumblr, this blog, tumblr #2, etc. Well, me resurrecting this now at the convient time of 2:45am probably means I'll keep on using it. I want this to be where my thoughts can be extended. Tumblr can be the outlet for daily trivialities but the for the thoughts that beg privacy, demand shame, or ignite my excitement, this will be their home.

This inconsistency in itself seems like a triviality but organising my thoughts feels like gathering them. It's impossible for me to concentrate with my thoughts scattered and my words continually fall short as I cast them in different directions. Hopefully this is the right one. 

Glenbrook

July 2013

Terrigal

DAY 1

It was a busy morning. A trip to the optometrist's for Lily's contacts and then a train ride back to where I used to live. I decided against bringing my book and kept myself entertained on my phone. I was almost giddy with excitement at the thought of travelling, but at the same time, I couldn't shake off the dissonance that came from travelling both away from and towards what I thought of as home.

Terrigalz & boiz met up with me and we were off to pick up Justine from the Hills, aka middle of nowhere (luv u justine). It was a fairly short drive along an assortment of freeways and highways that ran past lakes and national parks and through carved out mountains. I felt so close to all the people in the car despite having not seen them for almost a month and it felt so natural to just pick up from where we left off.

We sat in the car and waited as Jason sorted out the keys to the rental house. Everybody was gradually becoming restless and hungry; the afternoon crept by and a few of us had barely eaten. A few of us were itching to explore the beach. We spent the afternoon lounging around and unpacking. Night time, pasta for dinner and more problems with the stove. We still managed to prepare a tasty meal for everybody with the barbeque and afterwards, we learnt how to play mafia. Those who knew the rules argued relentlessly until those who didn't know the rules started to grow bored. Eventually though, we did play and it quickly had everybody on their toes. Some of us fired accusations all over, while others sat, feigning ignorance, disinterest. It was so interesting to watch and learn how everyone acted and deceived one another. We made each other do dares and it evolved into a game of disgusting ways to eat tomato sauce. Also just disgusting stuff in general. It was a good night.

DAY 2

We were off to a late start - everybody slept in and could barely bring themselves to leave the house. I felt completely defeated a few times when I tried to get people to go out with me, only to have people respond "no" or  "it's cold outside" without looking up from their phones. After a late breakfast though, people eventually did amble to the beach. It wasn't a memorable or particularly enjoyable day, although Shao/Justine/I did walk out along the right stretch of the beach to reach the rock pools and cliff. It was lovely out on the beach but we didn't stray too far. We stayed until sundown and had a relaxing stroll back home, where we made hot pot for dinner and baked cookies for dessert. Everybody was bursting from all the dinner and junk food and we played mafia again. We endured a painful screening of Quarantine and then put on White Chicks to cheer ourselves up afterwards. I fell asleep through the second movie and woke up on the communal mattress in the living room the next morning, completely forgetting how I got there.

DAY 3

 

Definitely the most memorable, but because of both good and bad happenings. It was a late morning again, and everybody's laziness pretty much snowballed and led to everyone just waiting around for each other, playing games on their phone. It felt rather sad; having driven out this far to live near such a wonderful place only to surrender ourselves to the confines of the house. I mean, it was comfortable, sure, but it was a fucking waste of time to just sit around. Jennifer clearly felt the same way and ended up having a go at a few people which finally kicked us into action, thank goodness.

We went to the same place on the beach, running in and out of the closest waves. I tripped backwards and landed on my back, covering my phone and camera with sand. It was absolutely devastating and I was worried sick for the next 15 minutes as I tried to clean myself and my things up. Everything was managed to be salvaged and I'd gotten tired of spending all my time in the same place. We hardly saw the rest of the beach, and there were rocks that stretched away and then out of view. I walked in the direction of the rocks on my own as everybody was content with staying where they were. They should've come though; the views were amazing, the coastline was mesmerising and it was just so pleasant to explore. I spent the rest of the afternoon by myself. At first I was trying to shake off my agitation at the rest, but after I calmed down and just tried to be in the moment and take in everything around me, I found myself loving every minute from then on.

The rocks made the terrain look almost otherwordly. From a few places where I stood, the water sat completely still in the rock pools and reflected the sky perfectly. Waves crashed up, threatening to knock over anything that strayed too close to the edge of the cliffs. The smell of salt filled my nose and the sound of the waves filled my ears. It was such a wonderful afternoon. Around the other side of the beach, I followed up the hills behind the cliffs and saw the beautiful horizon as the sun slipped below. I walked past dozens of locals with their dogs. I don't think I've ever been jealous of a dog before but I thought them incredibly lucky to be able to live by such a beautiful area and with families that love spending time with them there. Even I had trouble dragging my bunch of people out of the house that morning (they're still gr8 tho).

After it got dark, I returned home by way of the lolly shop. I bought some rock candy and bonbons to share with Dom but as it stands, I've already opened it and given a few to Lily. I've also eaten a few.

I'm not sure what it was that night, but the laksa and pasta for dinner was so delicious. So delicious. I hadn't enjoyed Asian food like that laksa in such a long time. We had a great post-dinner bonding time, I showed a few people my photos from the afternoon, and we pulled out the sparklers. I'm not sure where the energy came from, but we went all out with our cameras that night. Selfies, photoboms, silly faces; left, right, centre. I bet it was what those zoo animals felt like when they discovered how to take photos of themselves with cameras they stole off people. It was so much fun though.

We wound down to a quiet-ish night and then brought out the monopoly. Smores were to be had and after a long, hearty chat with Justine and Judy, we finally fell asleep hours before we had to be up again. 

DAY 4

Driving home. Well, driving Justine home first. The drive back was probably more fun than the drive there. I had my music going, which I guess Justine enjoyed as well. We played a bit of house, but the real party began when we pulled out the Queen, ABBA, NSYNC playlist. It was such a ball singing and dancing in the back seat. The other car could only wish they were having so much fun. I recorded a few videos out the window and the others played prank calls on the other car, screaming funny sounding city names into the phone every time every time we came across a new one. It became a cacophany of "moony moony moony moony" or "woy woy woy woy woy" and all our sides were hurting from the laughter. It was a good ride.

After reaching Justine's place, we had lunch at a shopping complex nearby before taking Justine home again. Jason fumbled with the GPS as we were leaving, and we ended up waving goodbye to Justine and her mum for a good couple of minutes and just laughing until we were hurting again because nobody stopped waving, and we weren't moving. Jason ended up just driving off to another street before figuring out the rest of the way.

We drove through the main street in Granville with my window open, filling the car with the smell of charcoal chicken.

I feel like I've come out of this trip knowing who I am able to better get along with. Closer friends have emerged while my attitude towards a few other people have changed, much to my surprise. Being within such close proximity to a group of people probably strains every facet of a friendship no matter how close each party already was. At least for now and probably until uni starts up again, we can all agree that we've had enough of each other's company.